Creative Writing

Writing minutes is a proper pain in the arse. It's bad enough having to write down what was actually said in the three hour committee meeting but it's even worse when you have to write what should have been said. And it's always the external examiners reports, which you might think are Quite Important. Problem is, there's a lot of them and no one can be arsed to read them so the Chair just says, 'anyone got anything to say on these?' By this time, people are just calculating how many biscuits they can stuff into their pockets when they leave so no one has anything to say.

So the next day, I write about how the committee carefully scrutinised each report and demanded immediate remedial action where bad practice was identified. I might try and do what that copper did and slip in song lyrics to the minutes to see if anyone notices:

"Professor Smith noted that we're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks."

Seamless! And no one ever reads them. Except for the QAA of course and I bet even they skim them.

A Total Eclipse of my Attention Span

Welcome to the University of Cockleton

Hello world!

I will be blogging about life at the University of Cockleton, somewhere in the sceptered isle of Great Britain. There'll be eccentric academics, world-weary administrators and office colleagues who make David Brent look like Cary Grant.

I cheerfully accept that perhaps the only readers will be me and those nice people who try to sell Viagra to everyone on the Internet. Well, it beats watching yet another repeat of Friends.